Doctor and Patient

2 Sep

I’m ill at the moment. Some strange ill-defined virus that leaves me depleted of energy and needing a hell of a lot of horizontal time. Though I’ve normally the constitution that could stave off a hanta virus with curl of the eyebrow and squint of the eye, this one has felled me and brings up all those pesky control issues I hold closer and more devotedly than sin.

So, in the interests of self medication, I have slept a lot, watched the odd dvd, ventured out on skittish legs to buy supplies (multivitimins, water, chips and ice cream) and ordered calamari delivery.

I should open my own A&E or Emergency Room for lassies with the malaise. Couches with hot water bottles and quilts comfier than a boyfriend’s chest. Cups of tea and hot chocolate to soothe and jam toast and choccies to provide sustenance. Naturally, Pride and Prejudice (the BBC version, you phillistine) will be on constant loop with your best friends either on the couch next to you or available via speed dial. All patients will recieve a free copy of the Schadenfreude Times where you can read about the misfortunes and tragic fashion choices befalling every ex-boyfriend, former friend or that chick with the smug smile at the cafe.

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