Things to hate: riding the bike to work

4 Mar

A) No one is supposed to go that shade of red in the morning with such little pleasure involved
B) No one’s trousers are supposed to go that dirty after scraping past a barrier
C) No one’s hands are supposed to get “stingy” without blood or visible graze
D) No one is supposed to go that shade of white in the morning when they eventually pass out in the car park after doing a piddly 8km ride in 30 mins. Against the elevator door. Like a malfunctioning robot.

After regaining a bit of blood pressure, I fumbled to my desk like a blindfolded pigeon and looked not unlike that creepy child from Ringu/the Ring. With all the grace of Iggy Pop. On a Monday. After spending the 80s in Berlin. With Bowie. And Reed.

All reasonable offers will be considered on the Smoke as I retreat to my world of trains, coffee and playlists.

P.S. My hand hurts. Who’s gonna kiss it better?
P.P.S. As a regular fainter, may I just say it comes close to fever as my favourite medical wotsit to experience. But fever still reigns supreme, despite being clammy

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