Does my tone look big in this?

14 Mar

A new mobile phone, that fob watch for the x, y and whatever the latest generation is called, was delivered to me yesterday. As befits all who work with technology, it took me a day to work it out.

This is why I will never become Nathan Barley. I still unplug my DVR to plug in my DVD (yes, I just said that, shut up). I don’t own nearly enough sneakers, though the ironic tshirt quota and eclectic collection of quirky designers seem plentiful. I can’t be bothered skyping.

I can’t even choose a mobile phone tone. Honestly, a simple tone. I was bewildered by the choices available, paralysed with the notion it needed to represent me. Apparently, most of the choices available suggest that RnB represents everybody.

But represent? Cmonnnnnnnnnnnnnn it ain’t gonna happen and whatever selection I make will just end up being some sunken cheek posturing on my part (hence why Kraftwerk’s “Pocket Calculator” is on top of my list).

So, if I’m honest, here are the top 5 songs that actually represent me:

TV Party, Black Flag
Coffee and TV, Blur
Touch Me I’m Sick, Mudhoney
Sometimes, My Bloody Valentine
Bloody Motherfucking Asshole, Martha Wainwright

None of which, it should be noted, make for good mobile phone tones. Surely one of you can suggest something…

*can we call them the twit generation? Please? Because they annoy me when they screech like galahs at Flinders St station. I’m a huge fan of watching them fall over, however.

** For those who don’t know, and apparently only 4 people in Melbourne do, Nathan Barley is a cunt. Though a fictional character, the invectively sarcastic entries about him warmed me during my cold existence in a digital sweatshop during the carnivale that was the dot bomb.

One Response to “Does my tone look big in this?”

  1. pi March 18, 2007 at 1:05 pm #

    The twits are winning… – Nathan Barley – nice one. (I feel a stencil idea coming on)

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