You know you want me in a crisis

29 Jun

Most days I either exist in a state of supine torpor or Iggy Pop-esque hypervigilence. This leads to wacky situations where I could take on and conquer a zombie army (the fast ones, not just the sleepytime munchers) or be completely unaware and unconcerned that someone’s rubbing their geriatric erection against me on a tram while dreaming of the many ways I will dominate the world with a mashed potato smeared fist. Amoirland: it’s wacky, non?

This is a really longwinded way of saying I can change a tire on a car despite having never driven, obtained a licence or worked on a car before. Hot damn, I’m this close to completely transforming into some brilliant mecha-warrior on request. You know, a deadly weapon of some description. Like a really comfy couch.

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