It will be noted in the society pages…

28 Oct

Naturally, all the socialites will cover it (I’m looking at you, Dominick Dunne, you pickled pompous poseur) but I wanted to let you, dear readers, get the inside scoop on the hottest party in Melbourne.

Amoir’s Soiree des Chookzilla et Godzilla.

No, I’ve not resorted dressing the Seagull up as an aquatic dinosaur and throwing her into a cockfighting ring (copyright Amoir). It was a refined evening of roasted birds and the fury of Birth Island combined into one elegant occasion.

After sending out the finely crafted invitations to my friends, I was keen to build their excitement in the form of forwarded YouTube videos.

You can see the results for yourself:

And don’t they look excited to be there?

As a seasoned hostess, I believe it’s important to keep the element of surprise alive when throwing a soiree. To this end, I completely forgot what time my guests were coming over and greeted them with half-done hair and a pedicure that would make me the prime mate for a tree-climbing sloth. Surprise.

First Film: Party games out of the way, we soon settled down to Amoir’s cinematic curriculum: Godzilla vs Mothra. During this time, they laughed, they startled, they ate butter-smothered roasted chicken and, most importantly of all, they learned to love again under the flapping wings of Mothra’s soothing death dust.

Amoir, Mel, Trentacles, Inked Miss & Sasspot Fatale then took a brief intermission that in no way resembled chain smoking on the balcony and pointing out vomit-stains from the neighbour’s Grand Final party.

Second film: Unfortunately Sasspot Fatale made the unfortunate error of renting Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla 2, instead of the fabulous Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla as requested (noted for its brilliant “King Caeser” song wherein one pauses in astonishment to realise ancient Japanese monster-awakening shanties all feature a 60s pop beat). I am sad to report that Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla: Electric Boogaloo is an embarrassing stain on the crotch of the Godzilla franchise and elicited much post-modern criticism from my guests, not to mention much slander about Godzilla and Rodan doing the nasty*.

There was only one thing to do: unleash the Seagull to deliver justice Birth Island style. Sadly she just decided to put on a hat.

But they were transformed. You can just tell. Why, just take a look at these completely non-staged before and after shots…

* ok, that was me lewdly conjecturing that Godzilla lay down some Barry White to get Rodan in the sack for some sweet, sweet monster loving. Oh yeah

One Response to “It will be noted in the society pages…”

  1. Anonymous October 28, 2008 at 1:51 pm #

    nice wordplay: "prime mate" -> primate -> sloth.

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