An open letter to Hong Kong

27 Dec

Dear Hong Kong,

I know we don’t know each other all that well and I normally wait a few vodkas before settling into the “let Amoir share her forthright opinions about you with a free side of cuss”, but it has to be said.

You fucking suck. And the epicentre of your suck resides at Chunking Mansions.

Here is a view similar to what you will see at Chungking Mansions:

Hong Kong, I realise I wanted a cultural experience and to experience all you had to offer but it appears all that was on the menu were TB, randy Parisians who won’t take no for an answer, annoying men trying to whisk you away to a curry house/hostel you have no intention of visiting and a cast of characters that even Goya could not paint.

By the way, in answer to your populace: no I do not want any motherfucking jewellry, handbags, watches, electronics, curry, silk 0r tailoring you motherfucking mosquitos of commerce. Also, Hong Kong, get your people to stop staring at me for pairing an Akira dress with Doc Martens and a red felt cloche cap! And sorry about telling one of your people to fuck the fuck off but really after 4 hours of trying to avoid the entreaties of sales people, I became the worst Western tourist imagined.

In short, Hong Kong, fuck you and may I never have to visit you ever again.

Merry Christmas your arse, I pray god it’s our last, etc


And it is on this cheery note we draw the “Amoir’s fun adventures in testing the world’s and her credit card’s patience” to a close. Normal transmission will resume shortly, with a few photos of notable purchases.

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