Fuck your Mother’s Day: motherhood is political

8 May

Motherhood is so often sold as a state of service, with Mother’s Day positioned as a “tip your waiters” event where we all ignore they’re under minimum wage.

I despise Mother’s Day. I despise the veneer of sentimentality screening the multiple disadvantages women face as penalty for being women fulfilling one biological function of the untold abilities of their bodies, a sole function that then manacles them as an entire identity. A suffocating identity that drowns out the woman…and we are supposed to celebrate it? The one day we celebrate women?

No.

I reject the elevation of family. Family is the first base of cultural control – we are first educated about society and politics through them. They enforce the boundaries of identity and potential. There are times when that works well….when we agree with that politics.

That’s why I reject people telling me I’m a good mother – I am not a good mother, you just agree with my politics.

I adore my daughter with a passion. I will sacrifice for her because I want her potential to be as unlimited as her intelligence. That sacrifice will only go so far because I want her to see how I live, and see that women can and should have boundaries in the world. I will not let her define my mothering by sacrifice, she can define it by what I reject, accept and do with my life without reference to her.

I respect the politics of family and will use it as a weapon to make sure she is fully armed when she is out in the world so that she won’t be restrained by the sentimentality that distracts her from the politics of her life.

To be a woman is political. To be a mother is political. Spare me your sentiment, spare me your one day, spare me your consumerism and the nobility of servitude while women are dying in their homes at the hands of those they love, as their bank accounts dwindle be cause of their gender.

Spare me all that. We have shit to do.

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